Dear 9/11,
I’m sorry! We said we would never forget you. We promised. And we didn’t keep our word. Hate is what created you. And hate has overtaken us.
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FACT: One of the hardest things you will ever hear when your life just fell apart is “God will use this!” YES… it’s true! But let’s be real, in that moment, you don’t give a flying flip! In that moment, you’re just devastated! In that moment, you just want to cry or hit something. Sometimes both. But in that moment… you need to hear this truth anyway! Whether you want to or not.
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The darkness being the end is never going to be God’s plan for you. There will be a day when you will be more than okay, and that day is coming! You will have joy again… I promise!
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I'm strong. I hear it all the time. I say it all the time... but it's a flawed comment….
It’s almost annoying to me how much I am told how strong I am. Deep down inside I know I can barely keep my head above water. It’s bone chilling to realize that the tough girl persona I have safely in place is nothing but glass…
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I was content with my life as it was. Sure, there are always hardships, but there wasn’t anything huge that I felt like I couldn’t deal with properly. How naive I was. I thought I was fine. I thought I was emotionally healing. But I was blinded to the scars.
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The wilderness was hard. The Refiners fire is worse. The wilderness brings a transformation of the heart. This is where I found myself after my divorce. The Refiners fire is what burns away all of the excess and it goes straight to your nerves, exposing them to the air.
Recently, the excess of my life has been burning away, and it hurts.
The fire is worse by a long shot.
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It was the day she had been dreaming of: the wedding that encompassed everything she had ever wanted and more! The designer gown, the flowers, the band, the food, the cake: all of it was prefect. Friends and loved ones sang the praises of the beautiful couple and as the bride looked at her prince charming at her side, she thought to herself,
“This is my perfect fairytale!”
But Fairytales don't stay forever and you have to stop chasing them.
It’s like running through a field trying to catch a unicorn; a mythical creature that is impossible to grasp no matter how hard you try. But at some point, you have to stop chasing it see it for what it truly is…
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People feeling alone, abandoned, forgotten, cast aside, ridiculed, or looked down upon. All feelings that cause one to draw into themselves and cut other people off from their problems.
Suicide is a lonely death, not just because of how it occurs, but because of the loneliness that leads up to the belief that death is the only option. How many weeks, months, or years does one silently suffer with their inner demons in complete isolation? And as believers… shoot, as HUMAN BEINGS… what are we doing to stop it?
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Your hurt and pain is just for a season. It wont last forever, but it can resinate longer than it needs to. Don’t let it. Choose to let it go. Choose to be strong and walk away from it. Chose to loosen your grip and let the sand from my current wilderness fall to the ground where it belongs.
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It’s hard to see, the beauty in the moment of our hurt. Not because it’s not there, but because we aren’t looking for the beauty, we are looking for the ”why?”
If we know why we are going through our trial, it makes it easier to bear. You can put logic to the chaos and suddenly walking out of your brokenness seems possible. You can see the trail through the forest; the light at the end of the tunnel; the sea being parted… you can see your exit!
So what is the WHY? What is the purpose behind such heartache and pain that each of us face every day, all over the world? The answer is simple...
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